This Matter of Faith
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  • These Matters of Faith
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    • Book III: No Evil
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More from the siege of Exeter

12/11/2018

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“I pray for you, you know?” Fletcher whispers. “When I can. I ask God to release you from your suffering.”
Strelley’s eyes close, fighting back the tears that this simple revelation bring. “I have abandoned any prayers on my own behalf. You were wrong, you know, in the cathedral. I was asking God to look after you, after Longshawe and de Winter and Pike, and Andrew Shepherd. Elizabeth too, and my sister, and Caroline. Not me.”
“I was not wrong, Edward.”
“I have just told you-”
“That your prayers were for anyone other than yourself. I know. But it is my turn to tell you: you will not turn God to your side no matter how much good you do. You cannot bargain with him. Accept your fate, Edward, and abandon this hope that somehow, one day, you and Elizabeth will be together.” Strelley remains silent at this. “You might choose differently. You might say rather that you will take the gamble, risk everything for yourself and for her, and go to her. But your conscience says that you must not do that. Those are your choices. This, whatever it is, this strategy to win her by your good deeds… there is no third way.”
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    Andy Richardson

    When to the sessions of sweet silent thought
    I summon up remembrance of things past,
    I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought,
    And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste:
    Then can I drown an eye, unus’d to flow,
    For precious friends hid in death’s dateless night,
    And weep afresh love’s long since cancell’d woe,
    And moan the expense of many a vanish’d sight:
    Then can I grieve at grievances foregone,
    And heavily from woe to woe tell o’er
    The sad account of fore-bemoaned moan,
    Which I new pay as if not paid before.
    But if the while I think on thee, dear friend,
    All losses are restor’d and sorrows end.

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